Parenting is not just about raising children. It’s about raising parents too. Good parenting involves a great deal of consistency and routine, which gives children a sense of control. It focuses on developing independence in children so redundancy becomes the aim of parents. Roopa Soni, an entrepreneur and a parent coach based in Dehradun shares her insights with Hello Vizag.
It involves a style that considers children age & stage of development. There is a match between expectation, discipline and resilience building strategies & children development age. A family, specially parents are a child’s backbone but care should be taken that the child develops his own backbone & he is not dependant on his parents for almost a quarter of his life as happens in many cases in India.
Parenting styles vary from culture to culture. The world is a big place comprising a variety of people having different ways of living. Although culture is the key ingredient but the economic condition and standard of living have also an impact on parenting. While there is a common set of values in different cultures, the value system stands divided on some major facets of parenting when compared with the west.
Being a parent is about making choices and many of us can doubt the decisions we make – what if they are wrong? Hope it’s good for the child; hope it benefits the child. A parent’s role in their child’s development is more crucial than any other relationship the child has with others. Positive action can create a pivotal impact on the growth of their child at nearly every stage of their development. However, most parents do not possess an innate knowing of exactly how to fulfil many of the development needs of their children. So here is when parental coaching is needed, especially in India.
India, a land of diverse traditions, all routed in the same value system with the head of joint families still prevalent, a child is brought up in an environment where she learns to value relations and people. The grandmother in the house plays a vital role in justifying the moral values in the child. The child learns to respect the elders around. As they say you need a “village” to raise a child and the child learns to deal with people in the house & outside the house and the child realises that every decision she makes every action she takes has an impact on the entire family.
Comparing this with the west parent believe strongly in the idea that their child is an individual whose individual rights should be respected. In the west the culture was very independent, different from the very beginning.
Children from a nuclear family to children being independent at a very early age, parental coaching came into existence at different levels. Whereas in India, a great influence from the west has changed the basic form but sadly has not changed the mind set and so the problems status and parenting being an extremely important shell that needs to be tackled appropriately. So, at a level, parental coaching entails
holistic development of the child which is not an easy task. With the impact of changing times on children, parents today encounter new challenges, leaving them in a fix about ways to cope up with. So empowering parents to deal with these challenges, parental coaching works with parents to help them find their own solutions.
With the rate of suicides among children rising too much, a survey was conducted and was found that no child wants to commit suicide. It is the mental pressure that leads them to such an adversity. So parental coaching is important to understand the emotions and behaviour of children and young people.
While parent coaching is a developed concept in the west, and many programs in the U.S. and the U.K. have been organized, India has hardly any such programs.
Stressful lifestyle, long working hours for both the parents lead to imbalance in work family life. It thus creates several new challenges in parent child relationship. The need is Empowering parents to deal with these challenges of parenting.
Parental coaching helps to build a parent child relationship, helps them deal with behavioural problems of children such as anger management and tantrums. Parental coaching is different for all age groups. Many workshops involve interactive sessions where parents are counselled and trained on various issues associated with children, from education to behavioural tendencies.
A lot of self-awareness is imparted because most parenting is unconscious. The parenting coach helps towards empowering parents and help them connect with children and learn from them. It helps the parents work on the ways to encourage children to have an innovative bent of mind, move beyond role learning and make education a fun process.
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